I started writing this back in December and just never got round to finishing it... So today I am finishing it!
Emilia's birth story
I read a lot of advice from Mum's saying not to have a birth plan because it almost never goes the way you want it to go. I thought this was smart so throughout my pregnancy decided to not have a birth plan. But closer to the end I got really anxious about my pelvic pain as it was getting worse and worse, and I just couldn't see how I was going to give birth vaginally and be okay. I could barely move or walk anywhere. Also, the midwives and doctors I spoke to about my PGP said 'it is fine, just get an epidural and you won't feel anything'... That is actually the worst thing you can do! Because if your pelvis were to open wider than it should do (you would be able to tell from the pain if no epidural) then you could do permanent damage. So the fact they did not seem to know this really worried me. I also had some other worries about a vaginal delivery so made the decision to have an elective C section. I know lots of people are terrified of having a C section, but for me, I felt so relieved knowing I could have one and I was actually able to enjoy the last couple weeks of my pregnancy.
Emilia, however, had other plans and decided she did not want to wait until the C section we had booked for 39 weeks. On the Saturday at around 6.30pm, Sam and I were watching TV (he had just got back from Rugby in London and was about to pop to the shops) and my waters broke! I did not feel the 'pop' women talk about but I did feel a big gush. I was not sure if I had wet myself, but as I had just gone for a wee I thought it must be my waters. Sam grabbed me some kitchen roll and then I ran to the loo and called my Mum. I tried not to panic but I was FREAKING out! My Mum told Sam to ring the hospital, and I got him to grab me a pad as I remembered you are supposed to show the midwives your pad when you get to the hospital so they can see what is coming out. Sam passed the phone to me and the midwife said that we would need to go in as we have a c section booked, and to bring out hospital bags as we wouldn't be leaving until we had the baby. This made me freak out even more!! Sam went and packed his hospital bag (I had been telling him for weeks to do it......) and my Mum turned up. I was still panicking but trying to stay calm. We drove to hospital and were put into a room. I was still leaking fluid, SO much fluid. I couldn't walk to the loo without leaving a puddle behind me! I got examined and was only 1cm dialated. As I still had a long way to go, we spent a couple hours in the room (Sam, my Mum and me). The doctors came and said they did not want to do my c section that night as there were less doctors around and they would feel better doing it on the Sunday first thing... I said okay so they moved to a ward and Mum and Sam were told to go home. Sam left to go get some sleep, I did not want to stay by myself and in a room with other women but I did not really have a choice. My Mum stayed with me and I used the hospital shower and washed my hair. She made sure I was settled and then left. I had not been having any contractions at this point, so I just laid in the bed, with the curtain around me, and tried to relax. There was a lady in the bed next to me snoring SO loudly so I couldn't really sleep.
A couple hours later I started to get some pains, and then the contractions started. I called the nurse and asked for some pain killers, and she told me to call my Mum and Sam back. I really did not want to stay in the room, I just felt so uncomfortable there so I stood outside the room and waited for someone to come and collect my things and take them downstairs to the birthing part of the hospital. I think only my Mum came back so that Sam could rest, I was so happy to see my Mum!! I did not sleep that night, and my contractions just got worse and worse. Sam came back early in the morning. As my C section was not counted as an Emergency (as it was elective), Emergency C Sections would be done before mine we were told. Each one takes 2/3 hours. Well, there were a lot of emergencies on Sunday 21st! They kept coming and telling us we were next, and then telling us there was another emergency.. Sam went home again to sleep, and we were told that a 6pm it would be our turn, so we quickly rang him and told him to come back ASAP. The doctor then came to see me and said he would perform the surgery (we had met before when he signed off that I could have the C section). He had done 3 surgeries already that day and had not had a lunch break or any kind of break, so we jokingly said 'are you sure you want to/can do another one? You don't want to take a break?!'. Well we never saw him again...... lol. I am glad he was sensible and went home though as he must have been shattered. Oh, before he left he checked how much I had progressed and did a 'sweep'. I was still only 2cms. He actually said if I had not have had a C section planned, he probably would recommend I have one as I had not progressed very far in the 24 hours. The sweep was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. He shoved his giant hands up my ho ha and moved it all around, it was absolutely awful. It did something thought because after that my contractions (which I already thought were very painful) suddenly became EXTREMELY painful. They were agony. I was given gas and air which was brilliant. I love it. you have to time it thought right before the contraction otherwise it does not work. As we had been told the night before that they would rather not do a C section late at night, we were worried they would not want to do it that evening, but the midwife promised me that she would make sure I had my baby before midnight.
So at about 11.30pm they got me ready for surgery, we put on our scrubs and then we walked to theater. I think we went into theater around 11.45 because Emilia was born at 11.55pm! It was the weirdest most surreal experience... So I had to walk in and sit myself on the really small bed/operating table. I had the injection in my back and then laid down. I asked for a pillow because I felt like my legs were higher than my head. They had to put in an IV but it went wrong and I could feel all this cold on my hand and realised it was my blood... so they tried the other hand. I then lost feeling in my body up to my chest which I hated so much, I felt so claustrophobic it was awful but I was told to lay really really still. I let them put up the curtain thing as Sam is not very good with blood and needles and I did not want him fainting (he had to leave the room whilst they did my IV's and my back injection so I had to hold onto the midwife lol). I really wanted to watch though, luckily the ceiling fan was like a mirror so I watch them cutting open my stomach. This really helped because I felt so panicked and started crying and freaking out, so it was good to have something to focus on. A few minutes later it felt like there was an arm in my chest up by my lungs and I could not catch my breath or breathe properly. I then felt a huge release and out came Emilia! Kicking and screaming! They held her up over the curtain and she was just so long and it was amazing to see her in real life. The doctors said 'she is beautiful' which Sam always laughs about it because he said she was covered in blood and looked all gammy....... I think she looked beautiful thought lol. They put her straight on my chest (I did say I was happy for her to be cleaned up first so she was not cold but I think my birth notes had been forgotten about) and she stopped crying and I just stared at her and it was the best feeling ever. I remember saying 'where are her eyebrows?!'. After a bit I started to feel super sick and shaky so I asked them to take her off me, so they took her to clean her up and Sam held her. I asked for a pillow because I felt really sick weird, it takes about 45 minutes for them to stitch you back up so I had to wait a while. When it was done I got transferred onto a hospital bed (still no feeling in my lower body) and I had Emilia in my arms and they wheeled me out to the recovery room. My Mum was waiting in the hall way and as soon as I saw her I started crying again. I tried to breastfeed when we were in the room but I don't think Emilia latched. I then stared reacting to the medication I had been given and I was itching and shaking and it was just really really weird. Sam and the midwife dressed Emilia, I kept freaking out and crying because I could not move and I wanted to put on her first outfit haha. After an hour or two we moved to my room on the maternity ward.
I think my Mum sent Sam home to grab his things and maybe sleep and she stayed for a bit, they then swapped over in the early morning. I don't think I had slept by this point. They say C Section babies often have mucus in their lungs so choke a bit the first few days, Emilia kept on choking but it did not actually stop... This was her first sign of reflux but we had no idea. Both Sam and I were too scared to sleep and leave her in her little hospital cot thing, when it was my turn to sleep I kept seeing Sam dozing off so I just told him to sleep and I held Emilia. Our families came on the Monday to visit us and it was so special. She did latch and start feeding, it was painful but amazing. I remember being so so worried in the hospital, I did not want her to be laid down because she kept choking and it was really scary being in charge of a little human. I got feeling back in my legs and was told to get up so my Mum took me to the bathroom and she showered me whilst Sam's Mum stayed with Emilia. I kind of lost all dignity so don't think I actually wore many clothes in the hospital, I didn't care who saw me breastfeeding, I would stand up out of bed with the door wide open.. You just forget that people can see you and that you have to cover up haha!
It was such a long few days, but it was amazing. I am so so pleased that I had a C section. It was very quick, my recovery (which I am sure I will talk about it another blog post) was not as awful as you would think and it was just incredible having Emilia! I knew most of what would happen in the C section, I just forgot to think about the fact that I would have no feeling in my lower body, I really did not like that! I also did not realise I would feel sick and itchy from the medicine. Sam said I looked like a drug addict because I was constantly itching my face and moving around. It was weird, but totally worth it.
Her name - Emilia Rose
I just wanted to add a bit about her name. We had Emilia's name picked out from pretty much the start. Well I heard the name Emilia over 5 years ago and fell in love with it. It is spelt the Italian/Spanish way, and I think it is just so pretty. As soon as I heard the name I knew my daughter would be called Emilia. Luckily Sam loved the name as well! Rose is Emilia's middle name. My Nanny is called Rosa, she gave my Mum the middle name Louise after her sister Louisa, so I thought it would be really special to give Emilia the middle name Rose. Sam's Nan also loved Rose's so she is named after both of her Great Grandmothers.
*She was born weighing 7 lbs 5
We love you Emilia <3
Loving the gas and air.. My face was so puffy and huge.
Sam's first time holding Emilia.
My face was so puffy and swollen for a few weeks after giving birth...
The Bounty photographer came round and took photo's of Emilia! I did not have warning of this hence my glasses and baggy t shirt...